08 December 2008

Not Green = Evil? (Spoiler Alert!)

Team HaraBara has noticed that villains who threaten the environment have replaced S.M.E.R.S.H. and its ilk as the primary threat to world welfare that movie heroes have to overcome.

A recent research expedition to Transporter 3 provided a typical example. Frank Martin must stop bad guys who have kidnapped an environmentally friendly diplomat's daughter to force approval of "reprocessing" of some obviously very nasty waste. While this isn't exactly saving the world, it is important enough to justify the beating up of many unsustainable goons and the killing of several assorted villains and henchmen.

In Quantum of Solace, the new James Bond entry, the shadowy plotters of Quantum are hijacking Bolivia's water in a nefarious plot to control this crucial resource in the region. To do this they commit many evil acts, which Cmdr. Bond repays in kind.

Here are HaraBara's suggestions for further exploiting environmental concerns to justify car chases, explosions and kung-fu:
  • Evil mastermind plans to capture India's monsoon by cloud-seeding over the Arabian Sea, then catching the resulting rain with a fleet of tanker-submarines and demanding exorbitant ransom. Plus, she threatens the hero's boyfriend.
  • Super-secret global organized criminal trust attempts to hold the Middle East hostage by drilling through the center of the earth into all its principal oil and gas reservoirs from cunningly concealed mega-rigs in Bora Bora. Also, they kidnap the widowed hero's teen-aged daughter.
Coming soon to a cinema near you!

[crossposted from the HaraBara blog]

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